Thursday, April 3, 2008

Reflective Essay

Now looking back at the beginning of the school year, I remember being excited to begin the new year with an A and end it with an A. Truthfully I thought what more can I learn about English, every year is like another year, you analyze it and then you move on to the next book. But then that was me being naive because this year was my last year and every class and every book I read should have a meaning to. I wouldn’t think teachers or who ever pick the books for no reason, unless it could impact us in some sort of way. After reading all these books and being able to reflect on it, I now gain a motive and understanding of the meaning of life. And I think this class did that for me. I guess I started the year as a very motivated student. But this year only made me better and progress as a student, mentally. I know most seniors want to get this year over and done with, but this is our last year to gather all information we can get for free, and prepare us for our next chapter in life.

I’ve realized that all the things we read from poems to books was written by an author who, himself/herself was striving for some sort meaning in life either through the character or the authors background, which usually intertwine the similarities or events that actually happen within the authors’ life and with the character in the book. I remember when we began to read “The Stranger”, I thought it was boring but the storyline got even more interesting especially the climax. I remember the night before it was due I was rushing to write that paper, it was intense. From then I’ve learned not to procrastinate and when writing a paper, because one you don’t get enough sleep and two it’s stressful. That’s why I started working on my time management skills.

I’ve learn that I should not have the mentality that everything I read should interest me rather than bore me to death but expand my mind by reading other books. It’s like a grown man watching cartoon all day, and doesn’t expand his mind by watching the news and understanding the state of the county. If I stick to reading the things I like I would not progress and become a well rounded student. And I do think that “The Stranger” by Albert Camus affected me, because of Meursault’s personality as a character. Meursault basically describes living through life without any hopes or ambition, but the idea that Camus use of absurdity where in the end Meursault is in jail and realizes the truth about his life. This is someone that I don’t want to be. This character taught me that we are human and that all human have needs and wants to spur that ambition. As for Meursault he never new what he was living for until it is too late. He was always living in his comfort zone. When you’re a child many parents let their children have second chances, but the truth is not everyone or everything get that second chance, just like death, when you’re dead your dead there is no second chance to that.

When we read “A Portrait as an artist as a Young Man”, it blew my mind away. This book was filled with so many symbolisms, religion, and everything you can think of. This was where I began to brainstorm and try to analyze like everyone else did. It was such an interesting book. The fact that you could analyze in a psychoanalytical way and a feminist way was interesting. That’s what this class taught me, to be a critical thinker and analyze things in anyways as I can. And then that’s when the explications became almost fun to write, except for the whole procrastination. I think the hardest part about this class is constant workload but this is a good practice for college. Also when we read this book and had class the next day, every one had a lot of good points and theories. And it forces us to state our opinion and give the fact which is reason that’s something that everyone should have. A skill that will help us through life. This year has far exceeded my expectations, I’ve learned and gain so much. And I’m most definitely glad that we have to do this reflection paper because through out this whole process I’ve realize that I’ve learned so many things. Thanks Mr. G!

Myth and the Modern World Test

In Passage one, relates to the modernist thinking because it describes the improvement of life in finding the truth. The first passage basically talks about two roads one of which we achieve our goal which when leaving it would leave us in "endless despair". The second road is one where it's unpredictable, like how do we know if this road will lead us to where we want to get to. Sometimes "perhaps never and we drift in doubt" which describes The Stranger by Albert Camus, where Meursault basically describes live through life without any hopes or ambition, but the idea that Camus use of absurdity where in the end Meursault is in jail and realizes the truth about his life. That is the "inconceivably beautiful diversity". Which is the steps and experiences that it takes to get to the meaning or goals. Modernist thinkers are progressive thinkers, their purpose was to improve, control, reshape the meaning of life. the re-examine every aspect of life. So the steps that Meursault takes is the progression of his life.
In the passage where it says the "inconceivably beautiful diversity" also describes Aristotles definition of tragedy, it means to arouse pity to the audience with a purged or cleanse. And in Borge case he says "Blindness has not been a total misfortune; it should not be a pathetic way of living, it should be a way of living". Which basically means that, although blindness is the experience that he's faced along the way but that obstacle leads him to create his own literary world of mythology. "The accomplishment of hopes remains an always unexpected miracle" means that getting to that goal is always unpredictable, but leading into the ending of the passage that "in compensation, the miracle remains forever possible". In other words, yes the miracle is unexpected and you won't know when you'll ever reach it but in contrast to that the miracle will always be there. For example in " The Myth of Sisyphus, Camus says that Sisyphus punishment is to ceaselessly roll rocks over hills but for some strange reason the gods thinks that its a futile punishment. But the moments that Sisyphus roll the rocks over the hill he has the hope that one day his punishment will end which is that unexpected miracle but that miracle will be possible in his mind.
In conclusion modernism is all about the improvement, control and reshaping life. Its all about re-examining every aspect. The steps obstacles that every character of the text face is the improvement steps of achieving or finding the meaning of life, like modernism.

Monday, March 24, 2008

Phillips' A Humument

On page 191 of Tom
Phillips' A Humument, Phillips suggests that in any person’s life there is always hope even through the bad by the various color, shading, shape and text of the composition.

In Phillip’s drawing the object shapes out to be a lifeless tree that grows in a barren land. The tree has the color of green, red, blue, and yellow, but all the colors except for yellow is shaded to black meaning that it’s almost lifeless and the ground is colored brown with tints of purple creating a dead color. In this drawing the tree is a symbol of life. It is here where it’s ironic that in such a barren place, a tree can sprung from the ground. It seems like the ground gets little to no water and the tree is lifeless because of the dark shadings. But it is in times like this where it seems that nothing is valued in such place that life can withhold through such a harsh obstacle. This is the tree of hope. The ground can symbolize a person who is lifeless and have nothing to live for but from this person’s mind springs hope, which is the tree. Their hope is having something to live for. That’s why the text says “Can it be in my barren garden that you flower?” implying that garden is the ground and the flower is the tree.

Another interpretation of this drawing is that the lifeless tree symbolizes a person’s mind. The shape of the tree is almost molded like a human brain, it seems soft and squishy. Also there are a many words written in the blobs almost like the human mind thinking about different things. Think of it as a person growing in a harsh environment, which is the barren ground where the tree gets very little water from. This is the root of the tree/person where there were many obstacles already surrounded the person. And yet this tree/person struggles to grow with all the source that they have which is the small amount of water and sunshine. Knowing that the tree is shaped like a human brain, the person’s brain is covered with different blobs with words in them with the colors green, blue, red and yellow. But yet the colors is shaded over by the darkness of the black which can symbolize that the person is unhappy or depress with the way things are going in their life that it’s slowly taking over the good memories. This signifies that the person is changing, which is into the dead tree. But within the tree or the persons mind there is something that lights it up. It is the yellow blobs that pop in the tree. The first thing that Phillip draws the attention to is the brightest color on the page, which is the yellow. The yellow represents hope. In this person’s mind springs out a feeling of hope, the yellow is the only thing alive in this picture it is the “flower” in the barren garden that the text talks about.

On the trunk of the tree says Chapter XIX, this could possibly be the title of the picture because the tree represents life. It could possibly mean the beginning of a new chapter where a person who went through many downfalls has strength and hope to move on because they see that there is something there to hold on to. And that’s why Phillip suggests that in any person’s life there is always hope even through the bad by the various color, shading, shape and text of the composition.

Brueghel post (Haymaking)

In the series of painting by Pieter Brueghel the paintings share a common theme. Instead of creating a center of attention he diverts our attention to the objects around it, by getting us to look at the painting overall. In the poem Haymaking, the poet William Carlos Williams suggests that people are still in the process of looking for the meaning of the human world.

William Carlos Williams creates the meaning of the poem with his many strong choices of word, tone, and punctuation. In the first stanza of the poem the speaker diverts our attention to the main topic by saying “the living quality of/ the man’s mind/ stands out” (1-3), he chooses his words wisely to catch our attention because the tone is almost given out like a statement of which is people are interested in the capability of how their minds work. Then he says that “its covert assertions/ for art, art, art! /painting” (4-6). He infers that people are interested in finding out the hidden force or if there’s a higher being is connected to the human mind. The exclamation mark is being used to exclaim that people are excited to understand the art or painting of their human minds. The speaker then uses a reference to further his meaning and that was the Renaissance. The Renaissance was a time of revival through art, literature, and learning in Europe during the 14th century and extending to the 17th century, where the people advanced forward also known as the medieval to the modern world. The speaker says “that the Renaissance/ tried to absorbed” (7-8) the understanding of the human world. Then he infers to the field of wheat in the wind that only touches the surface of it but hasn’t grasped the roots, or depth in understanding of the human world. Williams then takes us to the actual painting of Brueghel’s Haymaking. He starts to describe the painting of the workers working in the field trying to find a deeper meaning just as how the people during the renaissance would have.

And that is how William Carlos Williams suggests that people are still in the process of looking for the meaning of the human world.

Hamlet D.J

Ophelia & Polonius:

Ophelia is Polonius's daughter. Polonius seems mean to Ophelia because he accuses her about the news between her and Hamlet being true than she isn't restraining herself and so he asks "give me up the truth"(98) Ophelia says that Hamlet offered a lot of affection to her and Polonius says "Affection! Pooh, you speak like a green girl, unsifted in such perilous circumstances " (101-102). He seems to mock her by saying affection and that she's not a little girl who doesn't understand the way of the world. He even tells her to "think yourself a baby" for believing in the offer. And though Polonius is temperamental and Ophelia is obedient because she listens to what he says. Polonius is unreasonable because he didn't have anything to back it up but only use his feeling to express why she should leave Hamlet.

Blogs on Mrs. Dalloway!

I agree with you Emily! I was expecting it to be fun and easy too, but that’s why they say “don’t judge a book by its cover”. In order for me to pick up this book to read was much more painful than I thought. Maybe I just need to get use to the style. Anyways, when I started to read this novel, I thought it was hard because of the language and style of writing. It was helpful for me to look up the history of post-war society because that the whole book itself takes place at that era. But I want to start by answering Faedra’s first question of why Woolf writes so that we are able to understand the life of each character by having the key to their thoughts. Mr. G mentioned in class that it was a style referred to as a stream of consciousness. Woolf writes the book based on a single day in post–World War I London. She goes back and forth between the past and the present within a single day through Mrs. Dalloway. I think she is trying to emphasize basically on our conscious (which reminds me of watching Polis is this, where Mr. G said pay attention to your attention). I was researching some things about her and it mention that she believed that the writing style should reflect the variety and complexity of everyday life. So lets just say every moment counts. Because the plot basically traces the footsteps and thoughts of Clarissa Dalloway, as she prepares for a party she is holding that evening. Woolf’s style of writing seems very complex to me because she’s writing according to how our conscious works. I mean I can’t even keep track of my conscious. But it is a unique style that’s probably why it’s hard for me to read.

December 3, 2007 6:17 PM

In the beginning of the story Mrs. Dalloway and Miss Pym hears the violent explosion from the motor car. What is the purpose of having the car there when in the end no one knows exactly who it is? Well my theory is that there is a connection to her fear of death because previously when she was walking to the flower shop, she reads the quote “Fear no more the heat o’ the sun nor the furious winter’s rages”(9), she contemplates about death and Woolf decides to add another element, which is the cars sound to emphasize how weak and scared she can be on a such a small matter when comparing it to death it is something that she’s deathly scarred of. Another theory of mine is Woolf uses the car to transfer to Septimus POV. She shows not only Mrs Dalloways perspective of the car but Septimus too. There’s a parallel world between Mrs. Dalloway and Septimus because they some what reacts differently to the event. And though they’re there at the same place and time they do not see each other. Septimus was also scarred by the sound of the car, Septimus thought that “this gradual drawing together of everything to one centre before his eyes, as if some horror had come almost to the surface and was about to burst into flames”(15) While everyone is wondering about who’s in the car, Septimus thinks of something insane. Also I thought every one who witness the car and thought it was one of the royals had a sense of patriotism in them. For instance, after the “car had gone, it had left a slight ripple which flowed through glove shops and hat shops…for thirty seconds all heads were inclined the same way”(17). Everyone had a million things running through their mind of which royal it was. And then she talks about a small crowd gathering at the gates if Buckingham Palace.

And Emily I do agree with you about how in the Portrait and Mrs. Dalloway there is this stream of consciousness and self-awareness. I remember reading somewhere that Woolf praise the James Joyces style of writing. Maybe she was influenced by him.

December 8, 2007 8:50 PM

Inde book Synopsis, Sailing to Capri

First of all, I'd like to say that I recommend this book, and second this entire project was my favorite!

Yorkshire tycoon Sir Robert Waldo Hardwick has mysteriously died from a car crash. He leaves a fortune and letters behind to his beloved friend/assistant, Daisy Keane and private investigator, Harry Montana. The letter contains the name of 6 suspects that Hardwick have thought could possibly be his murderer. So journey on an adventure with Daisy Kean and Harry Montana on a Mediterranean cruise in search for the murderer. As the Blue Boat set sail and the conflicts arises, each suspect begins to show their true personality. On the last day of the cruise the boat will stop at their destination, Villa Belkiss of Capri where Hardwick’s will is read to everyone and the mysterious killer is found.

Imitating the writer

Between Chapter 56 & 57 of Sailing to Capri

The next day we left the beautiful Blue Boat and ventured on to our new luxurious life that Bob has given to us. Well, all except Davis because he turn down the offer and confidently said that he will be mentioned daily on the financial paper. As for Filomena, she eagerly decided to start living in Capri where Bob has given her second chance in life with a new home and a clothing boutique in store for her. I think I’ll see Filomena very often because Villa Belkiss is there. And after saying goodbye to her with eyes fill with tears, we all left for the airport and went our separate ways, except for Bordelaise and I. And yes Montana went separately because he has to check on work, but this is time he said actually said goodbye not like the other times.

On the airplane, I felt so relieved from all the drama that happened and ended up falling asleep through out the flight back home. I think it was the best nap I’ve ever had since Bob’s death. When we arrived, Bordelaise had to nudge me a few time for me to wake up and pestered me about my sleeping habits until we got into the cab. After 30 minutes the cab stopped in front of a large square Georgian-style building, like a typical Yorkshire home it was built with dark gray stones. From the gate was a long stoned driveway that leads to the side of the house. This is my home, Sneadley Hall. I pull my luggage in front of the doors with the two long windows with an arched fanlight above it and rung the doorbell. Mrs. Wainwright in her pajamas gasps and hugged me tightly. She asked me many questions about the cruise. So many that I couldn’t comprehend. So I told her about the whole entire trip and the killer. She was shocked and overwhelmed that she said she needed to rest. And I went into my room and took out the yellow envelope from underneath my pillow that contains the letter that Bob wrote to me. One letter was the one I’ve already read and the other one hasn’t been because Bob wrote to be read at the appropriate time. And so I sat down on my bed with my back against the sleigh bed frame on top of my plump cream silk quilt and look over the letter that I’ve already read. I began to cry. Bob did not deserve to die in such a horrible way. I wish he would have walked farther away from the car before it exploded. Then I wouldn’t be here crying. Bob is my savior, friend, and boss. He took me from my hell and made me a heaven by taking me under his wings. He provided me with a job and a house but most of all love. I love Bob and he loved me, but we both knew it was not lovers. A few moments later, Rats walked into my little Tuscan room, with his paw clicking against the chestnut floor. He stops in front of me and glance at me then jumped right onto the bed and lay on my knee. It’s as though he knew that I was missing Bob and decided to comfort me. I wrapped my arm around his stomach and pet him, I said good boy Rats, good boy. During that moment I felt one of the corners of the envelopes underneath him. It was the one that I have not read. I tried to pull it but I felt like he added more pressure in keeping the letter. I turn and looked at him and said I won’t read it boy, and he got up and lay at the end of the bed. I walk over to the little dressing table with little shaded silver sconces on both side of the Venetian mirror and pull the golden Venetian handle and place the letter underneath my neatly folded sweater. Coincidentally, my cell phone rang and on the screen in bolded letters was P.I Montana. I picked up the phone and said I think you’ve got the wrong number and bluntly said I miss you Daisy Keane. We talked for awhile and afterwards I went to bed and closed the light. It was strange that night because Rats and I felt a warm breeze even though the windows and door was close. But I think we both knew who it was. Rats barked and I whispered we miss you Bob.

Passage Explication of the Inde book,

Sailing to Capri Passage Explication

In Sailing to Capri, Elizabeth Adler creates spontaneous characters by using imagery in order to convey the purpose of the novel. Towards the end of the book, Harry Montana reads the individual letters that Bob had written to all the suspects and Daisy Keane describe in a passage about the consequences of all the suspects. Elizabeth Adler suggests that no matter how hard people try to escape from the crime they’ve commit in the end they’ll get caught. But for those who commit no crime will be safe from all harm.

Elizabeth Adler creates a witty, intelligent, and sophisticated character in Robert Hardwick, by convincing the murderer to tell the truth through his will. He basically describe his love for them and gives them a second chance in life by offering them money and a new home. After hearing the will, Roberts ex-lover, Rosalia admits that she killed him because her friend Hector had tricked her into calling Robert by saying it was him. And once Rosalia called the number she had activated explosive device in Robert’s car that Hector had affixed. In this passage when the truth has been told, Adler uses the imagery to convey the meaning of the novel. After, Hector “made a run for the door but the guards moved to block him…and headed for the French doors with the guards after him” (343). As Hector ran Daisy snagged him because she was outraged that he killed Robert for money. So Hector decides to hold her hostage. “He swung around, got her neck in a headlock and held her in front of him” (343). In a few seconds later a storm burst open the French doors and Hector dragged Daisy “out to the edged onto the terrace”(344). Daisy has always been a good person, she never commit a crime and only helped people. She was a good friend and kind assistant to Bob. So at that crucial moment, she begged silently to Robert, “Help me, Bob. Please help me” (344). And out of nowhere a mini- tornado came, “circling and swirling, shafting between them like a sword. Hector was knocked to the ground.”(344). Montana grabbed Daisy away from her threat and Hector made his way toward the blue door that led from the garden and onto the cliff. Montana stopped everyone who tried to go after him. He said that there is no where for him to run because this is an island and the storm is hitting hard and the police are waiting for him. Everyone stayed inside and Daisy wept her eyes out but no major harm was put on her physically except for the bruise around her neck. In the end Hector was surrounded by the police on the cliff. Hector “made a run for it, it was dark and wet, he didn’t know the terrain. A fissure runs deep into the cliffs there; obviously he didn’t see it….found his body on the rocks below” (355).

Therefore Elizabeth Adler suggestion that no matter how hard people try to escape from the crime they’ve commit in the end they’ll get caught is true. Hector eventually died as a penalty for taking someone else life. And Daisy is safe and happy because she hadn’t committed any crime.

Plum Plum Pickers Explication

Plum Plum Pickers Explication

What it means to be human

The Plum Plum Pickers is about workers who are trapped in low-paying, dead-end job, where they have to pick plums off of trees for a living. They unhappily do there job until the afternoon. So Raymond Barrio suggests that humans are not meant to live life mechanically or insensibly but to experience it with honor and pride through his literary styles.

In the first paragraph a worker is picking plum on a hot day, he is tired and exhausted. Barrio uses a one word sentence to describe and emphasize the state of being that the worker is in. He carefully chooses words such as “Brute… Beast... Savage… Wreck” (40) describing him in an animal-like sense. Barrio uses repetition to describes the workers surrounding as being “trapped in an endless maze of apricot trees as though forever, neat rows of them, neatly planted, row after row, just like the blackest bars on the jails of hell” (40). And ends it with the one word sentence that emphasizes its previous sentence, “Locked” (40) Because the worker is repetitiously picking the plum he works in a robotic way where he feels as though he’s trapped. This leads into “Lunch” (40) which is a sentence and a paragraph alone that makes it seem like time is flying by. Instead eating during the lunch break he “lay back on the cool ground for half an hour…then up again…the trees” (40). The description of the lunch break was so short that it leads right into work and once again everything starts all over again. The workers’ laboring seems mechanical when it says “he picked a mountain of cots automatically. An automator”(40). Afterwards the sun “penetrated the tree that was hiding him and split his forehead open…he blacked out” (40). Barrio uses the sun to symbolize the truth; basically the worker should not be doing this harsh job. And the workers’ name is finally introduced to the story; his name is Manuel which symbolically stands for man or manually which ties into his job.

Then “Midafternoon” (40), once again a one word sentence/paragraph which went by fast, described in a dreamlike trance. Then the whistle blew and work is done with for Manuel so it “Ended” (40). In front of the workers stand Robert Morales. He asked them all for two cents from every bucket of cots because there was a miscalculation. But Manuel flared and said “You promise to take nothing!” (40), feeling as though if Robert takes the money, then he has no honor or pride for his hard work. Then Manuel “tipped over his own last bucket of cots” (40) twice. Manuel refusing to give his money and kicking the bucket makes him more human like and less mechanical because he’s listening to himself this time. The plum symbolizes their pride because after seeing Manuel kick the bucket they stand over theirs and tried to do it to but Robert says “I shall take nothing this time” (40). And Manuel won along with pride and honor.

Therefore Raymond Barrio suggests that humans are not meant to live life mechanically or insensibly but to experience it with honor and pride. And so Barrio concludes “For men, are built for something more important and less trifling than the mere gathering of prunes and apricots, insensibly, mechanically…men are built to experience a certain sense of honor and pride”(40).

College Essay


I was overwhelmed with joy. I didn’t realize that I bowed and raised my hand up waving the peace sign up in the air. After noticing people laughing and smiling at me, I saw my arm, and the first thing that came across my mind was “I didn’t just do that in front of people, did I?” . Then I made my exit off the stage and there was a sigh of relief, I was so happy I sang the song to the best of my ability and exited with the most infamous sign in front of college students at the Umass Amherst, Cambodian New Year party.

I am a Cambodian. I live and breathe by that title, but that is not the only thing that shapes my life and perspective. My family plays an important role in motivating and influencing me. I have one older sister and two older brothers who broke the ice for me. My parents were once very strict. My dad use to make sure that school was what we lived and breathed. He would lecture us every day about it and told us that it was no time to fool around. Even a B was not acceptable or even doing any extracurricular activity. I remember when my older sister graduated out of high school and started living on campus at Umass Dartmouth. My dad would make sure she would not hang out with college boys or party. But when she met her first boyfriend, my sister persuaded him that she was in control of herself academically.

I was always scared of my dad. He scolded me a lot so I never had the guts to ask him for anything. But in order to sing I had to ask him this time I would not give up. I remember that my whole family had persuaded him to let me sing at the Cambodian New Year show, but it was entirely up to me to prove it to him with my grades. He approved but I wasn’t to sure if I could sing. I was such a nervous wreck in front of people; I didn’t know how I could overcome the fear of being nervous. But all it took was time and dedication to boost up my confidence from being nervous. Now that my dad is more lenient and understanding we are becoming the best of friends.

As you can see I had succeeded in overcoming my obstacles and fears. From the first year that I sang in Umass Amherst, I had participated in the same show there for 3 consecutive years, I sang the Star Spangle Banner at my 8th grade graduation, joined chorus and a youth singing group. No I’m not famous like Britney Spears or those other famous singers but I fulfill my dream of singing in front of crowds. I have taught myself to never let any obstacle interfere with my dreams and goal because that struggle will lead me to success no matter how long it takes. And along that way I’ll gain something beautiful like a friendship between a father and a daughter.

Analysis (Formal Essay) Portrait

A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man" is about the evolution of one character as a child to a man. Stephen Dedalus is a boy who is growing up in Ireland. Through his family, Stephen was heavily influence as a young boy in the Catholic faith and Irish nationality. Therefore he went to a religious boarding school called Clongowes Wood College. He never really liked it there; he was bullied by other boys and was always lonely and homesick that made him enjoy his visits home, even though family had conflicted because of the death of the Irish political leader Charles Parnell. His first sexual experience, with a young prostitute, creates a storm of guilt and shame in Stephen, as he tries to reconcile his physical desires with the stern Catholic morality of his surroundings. The experience scarred him for life. In “A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man” by James Joyce, Joyce uses the theory of the Oedipus complex to show Stephens character evolve by unconsciously yearning for his own mother.

Stephen lives his life “mainly and normally unconscious” (Joyce 262). According to Freud, Stephen’s unconscious desire is to displace his father and take his place in the affection of his mother. Stephen “may fear that his father will castrate him, and he may wish that his mother would return to nursing him” (Joyce 263), Freud called this the Oedipus complex. In the beginning of the first chapter of the book when Stephen is in class, it was the hours for sums. This was a competition between the York and Lancaster where the York wore the red roses and the Lancaster wore the white roses. Joyce describes the roses as a symbol of being enticing, teasing and appealing because “the little silk badge with the white rose on it that was pinned on the breast of his jacket began to flutter” (25). And the White rose also stands for Stephen. Joyce chooses to place the color of the rose white for Stephen because white usually means purity. Stephen is still young and innocent. So Joyce places the red rose on the opposing team of Stephen which is the Lancaster’s. The color red on the rose is very appealing not only is it the opposite of white but the color draws much attention and have many different meaning to it. The color red can mean love, passion, seduction, or the devil. Joyce describes it as “the little silk badge with the red rose on it looked very rich” (25). Basically in this passage Stephen tries very hard to complete the sum before Lawton does until he “felt his own face red too, thinking of all the bets about who would get first place in elements, Jack Lawton of he”(25). Stephen wants to win the competition until his own face turns red which red in this case means embarrass and frustration because he’s not winning and he can’t figure out the problem. It also stands for Jack Lawton because he is Stephens’s rival. But the symbol rose and the color red symbolizes Stephen development in experience is because through this event “his white silk badge fluttered and fluttered as he worked at the next sum” (25). In a sense he is losing his innocence because he wants to win and the red rose is luring him. These symbols represent him gaining experience of being competitive. In the oedipal complex there is a competition between the Stephen and another male. In this case the rose can almost stand for his mother but Lawton is not his competitor but it is Father Arnall. During the math competition when Stephen stop competing it was Father Arnall’s voice that he hears that discourages him, “…he worked at the next sum and heard Father Arnall’s voice. Then all the eagerness passed away and he felt his face quite cool” (Joyce 25). Stephen fears of his father and any threatening males in general because unconsciously he fears of being castrated. Ironically “Father” Arnall is the father figure. Then Stephen gives up the rose and imagine about other roses of all sorts of color such as green. Stephen’s mother would be the rose that he gave up and the imaginary rose would be the girls that he thinks about to replace his mother, such as E-C. After awhile Stephen “longed to…lay his head on his mother’s lap…he longed for the play and study and prayers to be over and to be in bed” (joyce 26). But later that day Wells came over to Stephen and said “ Tell us, Dedalus, do you kiss your mother every night before you go to bed…Stephen answered I do…the other fellows stopped their game and turned round, laughing ” (Joyce 26-27). In this scene Wells is the father figure because he’s is threatening Stephen. Stephen is separated from the other boys by a sense of guilt from the competition that makes him feel threatened by them, and the source of guilt is touched when Wells ask Stephen the question. After Stephen feels miserable from being teased and he thinks of the square ditch. The ditch is significant because it symbolizes the womb. “The cold slimy of the ditch covered his whole body; and, when the bell rang for study and the lines filed out of the play rooms he felt the cold air of the corridor and staircase inside his clothes”(27). Mentally Stephen pulls himself into his own world, this in which is the womb. Stephen starts to alienate himself from other people whenever he feels that he is being threatened by a father figure. He yearns for his mother and whenever he does that is when he isolates himself from the world, it’s as though he is physically going back into his mothers womb. Yet she is his source of comfort and protection from reality. And there he contemplates whether it was right to kiss his mother and thinks of how she’d kiss him good night. Stephen put his “face up like that to say good night and then his mother put her face down. That was a kiss. His mother put her lips on his cheek; her lips were soft and they wetted his cheek; and they made a tiny little noise: kiss” (Joyce 27). Through Stephen’s evolution as a character he is faced with many male interference in this first passage he is scared by Father Arnall’s voice which causes him to stop competing. And then he is teased by Wells who brings out his insecurity of whether it was right to kiss his mother. Stephens unable to change the fact that he is scared of any male figures for he unconsciously fears of being castrated. And whenever he feels lonely from the world he search for his mother’s comfort that’s why he creates and look for women to replace his mother.

Consequently Stephen is lead into his greatest sin. As Stephen is wandering from street to street through that autumnal evening along Blackrock,

in the pause of his desire…the image of Mercedes traversed the background of his memory. He saw again the small white house and the garden of rosebushes on the road that led to the mountains and he remembered the sadly proud gesture of refusal which he was to make there, standing with her in her moonlit garden after years of estrangement and adventure (Joyce 97).

In this quote the rose represents a woman; usually a rose is associated with a woman’s beauty. When he sees any woman, rose is always brought up. The beauty of the rose or woman attracts him, like wanting a woman. Then he thinks at that moment “the soft speeches of Claude Melnotte rose to his lips and eased his unrest” (97). Stephen associates his lust and desire for a woman to Claude Melnotte, a hero of The Lady of Lyons. But the symbol rose is used in a different term where it means to gain experience. In this case he wants to complete his desire and lust for a woman and that woman would be his mother. Once again Stephen is imagining another woman to replace his mother he yearns for her touch. Therefore, after his imagination drifts off he walks into a “maze of narrow dirty street…women and girls dressed in long vivid gowns”(Joyce 98), Stephen stayed with a prostitute that night and slept with her .

Give me a kiss…his lips would not bend to kiss her. He wanted to be held firmly in her arms, to be caressed slowly, slowly, slowly. In her arms he felt that he had suddenly become strong and fearless and sure of himself. But his lips would not bend to kiss her (Joyce 99).

Stephen takes his desire for his mother to reality, he thinks of the prostitute more like his mother, that’s why he’s reluctant to kiss her. He only wants to be held in her arms because he feels fearless. Stephen is reluctant to kiss her because of the scene where Well’s teases him if he kisses his mother or not. Stephen can’t stop but surrender to his unconscious fate. Stephen pushes himself to alienate everyone else because unconsciously all he needs is his mother. He depends on other to make himself happy.

Through Stephens’s evolution as a character he faces Emma in the last chapter. They both had a conversation. Stephen says things such as “ Asked me was I writing a poem...about whom...I asked her…this confused her more and I felt sorry and mean…I made a sudden gesture…I must have looked like a fellow throwing a handful of peas up into the air” (Joyce 223) and left. He finally meets the woman that he loves but can’t talk to her. Because Stephen became so alienated from the rest of the world that he has a hard time communicating to people, he does the wrong gesture and gives people the wrong impression. Stephen has always been hiding himself. He’s always been lonely and feels a sense of insecurity. And that’s why he needs his mother so much. But the Oedipal complex is a major part of his unconscious psyche. Basically this theory shaped him.

So therefore, “A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man” by James Joyce, Joyce uses the theory of the Oedipal complex to show Stephens character evolve by unconsciously yearning for his own mother which pushes him to become an artist. Stephen’s “feeling that he is destined to become an artist is viewed to as just another myth “generated by his “neurotic need” (Joyce 271).